Thanks for your reply, I think I'm out of the last hard stage and into the next one!! I lament the inactivity here, i don't like using facebook - i know too many people there!!! it feels very unprivate to me, especially when i might be seen to be criticising the parenting practices of most of the people i am friends with!!! my days with my girls are just lovely, they are such happy babies, happy to nap, happy to chill out and explore their world etc, it's just bedtimes right now that are a struggle. At least bedtimes where no one cries! We're getting there, I just have to decide to just do my best. My husband has just injured himself and has his leg in a cast for the next couple of months which makes things tough, all sympathy to him but not what I needed in my life right now!!!